carbs_kitn

thanksgiving

2009-11-24T06:25:21Z

well my trip back to california went well but its good to be back home with Master again. what a long drive back in the uhaul though, came home to a horrid mess and went into a break down. seems like every time i go away i come home to a wrecked house. i was so pissed . at least im over it now and attempting to get things put away and ready for thanksgiving. im so excited that my sister is flying in for it. miss her a bunch it will be great to get to visit with her. She will be here for a week. She wants to fly me to phoenix some time in january. would love to go and spend more time with her but hate the idea of leaving home and coming home to a wreck again. anyways have to get back to turkey day prep. .....

unaprishated......

2009-10-15T04:04:58Z

ever have them times you feel totally unapprishated.... well i am...

i swear sometimes it feels all i do is cook and clean, cook and clean , cook and clean, put the lid on the toothpaste and put it back in the counter, pick shit up. cook and clean never wear pants cant seem to ever watch what i want on tv and for what?????

yes it is to make Master happy, and in all honesty i love making Master happy, but fuck, there are times that i feel what about me. I do not believe that makes me a bad person, or even a bad sub/slave, but im his sub not the kids, and i miss my dog.......

so i sit her crying honestly not even knowing why, with a serious case of pity me for some reason.......

*shrugs* guess its just seems like one of them times.....

Daily Post

2009-10-09T23:56:56Z

Well another day, yesterday was nice Master had the day off so we could drive down to olympia and visit a friend that was here from Phoenix, had a good time and best of all was able to spend the entire day with Master, we ended the night at the casino. and only spent 30.00 we played for over three hours though and had fun was a great night sadly it ended with Master having a horrid headache. i have a eye dr apt set up for Him next thurs though so the headaches should be getting better with new glasses, if not He is going to the dr. Master just never gets them but has had them for almost a month straight.

cold mornings

2009-10-06T16:16:32Z

Its a beautuful chilly morning hehe, Supper went well sat had fun with the company . Things are going well and the doubts are beginning to melt away yay me ! ! ....

Master will be going to graves next week, alright honestly not looking forward to that but will deal as always. will be making a trip back to california soon to finish getting our things and bring them home. and yes Home is where Master is, mothers will always be home in a way but its so wonderful being back at Masters feet where i belong. ( although sitting at Masters feet is sadly getting a bit painfull) we are looking for a pillow for me to use, sucks to be getting old and over weight lol/. but Master is a patient person thankfuly.

Dinner Guests

2009-10-03T22:36:18Z

well tonight we are having a house full we have 5 people coming to dinner, have made a huge patato salad and doing porkchops and garlic bread, as well as a cheese and cracker tray. needless to say Drinks LOL so should be fun even if nerve racking but what the hell. im sure everything will work out , hate that everything is not perfect. but its never perfect to me. Have to go get cleaned up and dressed then get the cheese and cracker tray ready :)

another day gone wrong?

2009-10-02T01:27:59Z

Ever have one of those days........

things have been going great, then i woke this morning..... up early to make Master breakfast :) not complaining at all about that, but woke with a horrid headache, anyways got up and started cooking , then suddenly hear the fridge doing something it had not done. When Master got up i told him about it but of course it didnt make the noise right away LOL go figure, but then before he left for work it did it again. He checked it , asked if i had just filled the icetrays, NOPE>>>>> needless to say when you get something at a great deal its to good to be true, well that is so true. The fridge was DEAD>.....so now im scramblin around trying to figure out how to save my freezer full of meat. no way i can BUY another fridge right now. and even if i found one on craigslist i cant pick it up Master had the truck at work. needless to say Rent a center to the rescue. took ALL day only half the meat thawed out. but i have a working fridge untill we find the one we want ..... still have the headache but the day is almost over....

lovin the weather

2009-09-28T17:14:58Z

well must admit its cooling off big time. and im lovin every min of it LOL. its supposed to rain all week which is a bonus love a good rain storm.
had some ups and downs this week. but for the most part things are going well love being back home with Master where i belong.
we still have some issues we are working through, but things are going well. there are moments that i still have that nagging doubt that springs up that i can be what he wants and he keeps saying that i am. Trusting in that fact though is hard. i had to do so much on my own this past couple years that turning over everything is harder then i ever thought it would be.
the babys are doing great still bite but are much calmer then when i first brought them home. so things are going in the right direction. would love to get a bigger bird who knows maybe one day.

just another post

2009-09-22T02:10:21Z

well supper went well, things are winding down. Master and the kids are playing a game on xbox, tonight im just tired and ache, and my feet hurt, but all the running is done, supper is done and the dishes are done, think im going to take a shower and see if Master will let me go ahead and put my jammies on for the night, maybe snuggle up in my chair and play my xbox for awhile and shoot some people LOL just got to love COD.

Long days

2009-09-21T23:12:35Z

well things are going great here in washington. am really happy being back with Master, and only on occasion miss wearing pants LOL.
   Jr is here with us now, had him get on a bus and come up last thursday. hopfuly here he can get his shit together and do something with his life.
   Spent the entire day out running *shudders* how i hate leaving the house. but things had to get done and Master works so much that its up to me to get them done.
   on the bright side, Master is supposed to be getting off at 4:30 pm all week this week YAYYYYYYYYYYYY a nice change from the not getting home untill 7-7:30 that he had been getting home. so its supper done by 6 this week.
    Can i just say Craigs list is awesome ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! yes thank you craig who ever you are, i got a working washer for FREE ! ! ! ! ! cant wait for Master to get it installed. now all i need is a dryer LOL. and no more laundramat for this girl....

Daily post

2009-09-18T02:05:22Z

well another day. Master is bringing home someone for supper tonight, So its pork roast in the oven night here . The house is all cleaned up and everything is almost ready.
Had to put one of our boys on a bus today and head him up here. unfortunatly it appears He can not stay away from the weed long enough to even look for work or do anything around the house in CA. Not fair to leave my brother to deal with him so will be picking him up from the bus station tomorrow. He is going to be so angry after Master gets done talking with him but damn he needs to get his life straightend out. He is 19 and didnt even graduate. im beside myself at what to do. Could not get him to do anything when i was there even so Master needs to deal with him now. He is a good kid i know that he is just keeps making the wrong choices.
im excited though our other son has a interview with the Department of Fish and Game its what he has been trying for and wanting ! ! ! ! ! ! they do not pay alot but he will love it anyways. sometimes loving your job is just as important as the pay. and now a days NO ONE is hireing at all.

well suppose i should go and put on some makeup and brush my hair before They get here.

New Babys

2009-09-16T18:58:29Z

well my cockatiel Molly and i have rescued two more cockatiels. adorable little babys, They need alot of work though. Have been cage bound for quite awhile and not hand fed. so have my work cut out for me , but im so excited. I am finding that keeping things clean with just three of us is alot eaiser then it used to be with a housefull. and have ended up with some extra time on my hands, and with Master working so much gives me lots of time to devote to the babys and not leave my molly out :) going to try to add some pictures to this post of them but bare with me not sure how to do it LOL....

ps im still trying to figure out their names. the bird on the top of the cage is my Molly, the yellow on inside the cage is female and the grey one with the yellow face is male. i was thinking about some sort of varraition of sunshine, for the female and moonlight for the male. maybe in another langauge. open for suggestions LOL....

goodmorning

2009-09-13T15:58:04Z

well things are going a bit better , which is always a good thing. poor lizzy is having a bit of a rough time, missing home, her friends and her boyfriend. nice thing is teens bounce. she will make new friends here and things will be fine in time.
Master is enjoying his visit with Bri that is a great thing. and not quite as much testosterone floating around as i had expected lol. sadly Master had to work this morning but should be home by lunchtime. always a good thing. i think He is going to take Bri to Mucklshoot casino today. seeing how its literaly just down the street.
We had a nice time last night . went to dinner at one of Masters co-workers last night, He wanted to meet Bri seeing how we all play on the xbox together. and i always enjoy going over and visiting with His wife.
quiet this morning Bri and Lizzy are still sleeping. layed in bed as long as i could but ended up by 7 am lol. so just sitting around quietly sipping coffee. had a cup and talked to mother on the phone as usual for my mornings ...

new day

2009-09-10T22:51:42Z

Well, Master got off to work and lizzy off to school today. did not sleep well at all last night. not sure why, admitted to Master last night that i was frightened. afraid that i could not make Him happy anymore. He said that he was not worried and that i do make Him happy. He held me while i cryed and then went to sleep.
He came home early today because of our out of town companie and while Bri was in the bathroom Master pulled me aside and told me he wanted to be sure i understood that we were alright, He got the feeling this morning that i was still uncertain. not sure what gave Him that impression. we will be alright i know that we always are. what bothers me more then anything at the moment is my own self doubt. maybe today im just tired from not sleeping well last night and have a head ache on top of it. anyways am sure it will be a good weekend with companie here.

hate doubts

2009-09-10T05:28:01Z

Master, appologized. in all honesty i was supprised. i dont know i want to make him completly happy, in all these years i have never doubted that i could. today i found myself doubting that i am what He wants. what a horrid feeling that was. He says He is so happy, proud and pleased that i am His. money issues suck, they upset me as well as Him, then i find myself walking on eggshells not to say the wrong thing. i have had so much freedom for more then a year to speak my mind around anyone. hard to bite my tounge and not say what is going through my head. Not sure why i thought that i would be right back in my place as soon as i got here. so many issues with the new house. first the fridge went out had to replace that, then a gas leak in the furnace. had to have the gas company out today. getting liz started in school. all things i handle with no proublems any other time. try to get this place clean and make it a home for Master to be happy to come home to. it has come a long way though and i really do love it, best of all its ours. but along with it being ours. comes the responsability of fixing the crap that breaks.... no landlord to call and say it needs fixed. now im just rambling. my brother in law is flying in tomorrow. im so happy He and Master are like two peas in a pod and i know they could both use the visit together. although put them together and there is more MAN attatude then anyone should ever have to deal with, but all in good humor. It will do them both good to get some time together. unfortunatly that means they will take over the video games.
well suppose that is enough rambling for one night... i am truly so very happy to be back with Master where i belong no matter what trials may arise...

confused

2009-09-10T01:07:22Z

not even sure what to write. Master is pissed at me, honestly not understanding why, feeling stupid for not understanding. i tryed to hard NOT to piss him off and still managed to do it anyways. I hate fucking money issues. honestly just want to make him happy. but seems maybe that is impossible for me to do anymore....

Thanks

2009-09-09T02:29:11Z

thanks for the congrats. its really beautiful and green here :) and love the rain so all is good. so far things are going well, we will be having companie this week , brother in law coming for a visit that will be nice. Lizzy is liking being the only child living in the home LOL. but im sure in some ways she is missing her brothers. at least she starts school tomorrow and will get to be around kids her own age.
i am not smoking in the house which is a great thing, has slowed me down ALOT ! ! ! ! yay.... still trying to learn my way around. but should not take to long. used mapquest and found my way to the school to get her registerd today and didnt even get lost LOL. was spoiled with Master home for the weekend. but He had to go back to work today. that was odd . still got things done which is good. although didnt manage to get to the bedroom not sure why. so that is on my list for tomorrow.
anyways am off now to clean up the supper mess...

Awesome News

2009-09-08T05:15:52Z

Well after such a long wait, i am finaly back with Master where i belong. I am HOME. as home is where Master is.
it was hard to tell our daughter that she would not get to finish school where she was going. thought i could survive with Master in WA and us in CA but things were just so hard. and i was so out of controll. between smoking way to much and drinking a bit to much diet shot to hell. and the simple fact that i missed Him so much and He missed me ! after my visit to see him it was decided we were not going to wait two more years that i was to move asap. so He found us a home. in the car i jumped and drove to WA. lizzy starts school on the 9th so had to get her here to start ontime. then will go back and get the rest of the things to bring back.

must admit its a bit odd though, have become a bit used to being incharge so to speak with Master gone for the past year. new learning experance to keep my mouth shut. but no matter i am truly happy to be here with Him and never again will we make the decision to live seperate places for awhile.

as for the new home. we are buying it YAHHHH its ours that is an awesome feeling. Master did a great job picking it out and we can afford it which is the added bonus lol.

well its late Master is out of the shower and i must get to bed......

frustration

2009-05-30T16:21:43Z

talk about sucks. after all this time i finaly get to come see Master and what happens. YEP start my period. im so angry and upset and am sure that the fact that this causes me to be even more moody then normal dosent help. Master was off last night and althoguh we finaly did fuck right before sleeping the entire evening was spent playing xbox.. and now im raggin so guess so much for playing this weekend.....

Thursday night

2009-05-29T07:06:45Z

well suppose i should have posted last night while Master was at work. but in truth was the last thing on my mind. once Master left for work i cleaned His room LOL>.. and slept oh my how i slept.. even slept today with him. Its hard to believe that i am actualy here , in a matter of minutes it was decided and in a matter of hours after that was on a plane. needless to say i didnt get any sleep before coming not that i ever get much sleep but seem to be catching up on some of it now lol. Master still has to work but he will have the weekend off and very excited about that. so im going to post this eat the last bit of my supper and snuggle into bed watching a movie. if i sleep great if not thats ok to because i can sleep with Master for a few hours tomorrow. yeahhhhhhhh im back in His arms and soooo happy

SUPRISE

2009-05-27T19:32:55Z

well what do you know, kitns ass is going to be on a plane in 3 hours and going to see Master, can we afford it, not really but Master would not accept that as an option sooooooooo im headed up soon will spend a few childless days with Master and then we will drive home tues. Master still has to work certainly can not afford for Him to take days off as well. but still will be nice spending some time with Him without the hassles of kids and everything here... but starssssss i hate to fly.... will be hitting that bottle on the plane lol

Monday Night

2009-05-26T05:23:23Z

Well, its monday and feeling like a stuffed turkey... had brats, hotlinks , hotdogs, corn on the cob and mac salad. was a lazy day for the most part. but was good. Mother and daddy leave tomorrow, not sure if mick and i are going to go up with them and help them get set up. still not so sure about daddy driving that far up the coast. guess we will see how it goes. Really tired tonight am hoping that means ill actualy sleep for a long time *laughs* not holding my breath though .

Had a wonderful suprise Master talked me through two orgasams on the phone last night, know that sounds silly but for someone that can not make herself cum, it was an amazing thing. just thanked Him over and over again *laughs* now if it were only so easy to do myself might not be missing Him quite so much *rolls eyes* ya RIGHT....

Long weekends

2009-05-24T22:32:47Z

Well feels like it has been a long weekend, and its not even over yet. good news is that yeahhhhhhhhh kitn slept a whole 7.5 hours last night. almost straight lol dont count the pee breaks.

Have not talked to Master much the past couple days. He has been busy with friends. and very glad that He has friends and doing things though.

Mother and daddy are leaving tues headed up the coast for awhile. they will not be home once a week anymore because how far up they will be working .. oh well gives a girl an excuse to head up the coast more often LOL.. always looking for and excuse to do that..

Sissylove is coming to visit yeahhhh am so excited will hopfuly get lots of snuggle time. there will be her and Master here at the same time.. which will be great .. although wish they were overlapping just a bit more hehe would be nice to have private time with them both.

not alot to write about today. just a lazy day , did meat and cheese trays for sandwitches because today is race day and racing ALL day. o one wanted to have to cook anything so it all works..

Thurs

2009-05-21T23:00:30Z

ok well im really struggling with this whole leaving the house thing. Everyone is on my case about it, but damn its not like im stuck inside missrable, im actualy very happy home..

but then there is life and well in life you have to leave your happy place soooooooooooo that i did today LOL off to the bank, pay bills and the store,,, mannnn how i hate the grocery store. but needed to be done....

back home and happy and cool lol. with my pairents here for a week have a harder time keeping things picked up but still manage and still get time on the computer YEAHHHHH

its my pairents anniversary today so mother and i bought steaks, and big patatoes to bake, garlic bread and well we will have a salad looking forward to it, and get to cook most of it outside *whoot* trying to get read through everyones journals and have not posted on them, sorry for that taking a bit to get back into the swing of things....

Wed....

2009-05-21T00:35:37Z

Well another day, doing well actualy, nice to write that *laughs* Got the house all cleaned up, played a few games off and on, cooking stew ! ! yummy .... not exactly on the diet but with a big salid and a little stew will be fine.

drank a bit last night, hadnt planed on it but yeahhhh slept 3 hours up for an hour and then slept another 2 so 5 HOURS whoot.....

have been hosting some on SL a game called Devil may care, LOL for anyone who knows slingo, its exactly the same. have a blast. had forgot how much fun online friends can be, have made some wonderful lady friends. Really need to write in here more and will do better....

long time no see journal

2009-05-20T07:13:11Z

have not been posting at all lately. *shrugs* not even sure why. things have been going alright, hetic and such with graduation growing near, pairents are coming for a week or so not exactly looking forward to that..

honestly missing Master so much hard to post, fells like all kitn does is complain when posting... counting the time 2 more years and will move with Him. odd going from online to Real life for so very long then suddenly POOF back to phone and online but its what needed to be. He is doing great in his new job and i am so very proud of him. still the bed is very lonely.
so just tend to the house. get stomped on by the kids LOL. my own fault i know.... and play on Pogo and sl. other then that not alot to report....